Rambling

The Living Bardo

Certain beliefs refer to a place in the afterlife called the bardo. It is believed that after you die, you go to this place, which is kind of like a halfway house between your previous life and the next one.

I think that this is an interesting concept, whether you believe in it or not; the idea of drifting between one life and another. Personally, I think that we experience being in this state during life as well. I currently find myself in the “living” bardo. Continue reading

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On a Serious Note

31 May 2002

I’ll tell this story one more time.

This is something that I’ve told a few people over the years. I’ve always felt that I couldn’t tell the entire story, because I had to protect certain people. I specifically felt that I needed to protect my father for some reason. It’s ironic, because he didn’t protect me. But now that he’s dead I no longer feel like holding back. I’m still alive and in order for me to live a better life I need to write. I need to vomit out all the bitterness that has festered within me over the years. Continue reading

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On a Serious Note

The River

When I was a child I grew up by the River Lea. There was something in the water, now that something’s in me. You know I can’t go back, but the reeds are growing out of my fingertips…” ~ Adele

I’ve always regarded water as a fascinating resource. So beautiful, soft, and gentle, yet also so powerful and dangerous.

On Sunday we scattered my father’s ashes. Continue reading

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Rambling

Oh Shit, It’s 2016

There, I said it.

This year has crept up on me like an unwanted pregnancy. I spent New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day helping my mom move to a smaller flat in the same complex. It’s exhausting. We got three guys to help us move the heavy furniture, but the two of us had to carry all the other things. As I’m typing this on Saturday night we’re still not done, but by the time you’re reading this I hope that we will have finished on Sunday evening. There are so many things. It’s amazing what you can accumulate over seven years of living in a place. We also had to let go of a lot of my late grandmother’s things which was particularly hard. But I guess it’s also a part of the grieving process. Continue reading

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Rambling

Goodbye 23: What I’ve Learned

And just like that, another year is gone.

It’s been a strange birthday this year. Today is exactly one month after my father passed away and five months after my grandmother passed away. It’s almost as if the 27th brings bad tidings. Anyway… Continue reading

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