Rambling

Goodbye 23: What I’ve Learned

And just like that, another year is gone.

It’s been a strange birthday this year. Today is exactly one month after my father passed away and five months after my grandmother passed away. It’s almost as if the 27th brings bad tidings. Anyway…

Today was the perfect day. Last year my mom took me to see The Rocky Horror Show for the second time (because I loved it that much). but this year I really wanted to have a peaceful day. This year has left me battered, and I just feel like sleeping. And no, I didn’t sleep (all day). We drove to Clarens, which is one of my favorite places to visit. We had a lovely time, and spent too much money. Fortunately I had my sedatives to keep my anxiety from getting in the way because of all the people.

Last year I wrote a blog post similar to this to look back on the past year of my life. It was a nice way to wrap up that specific era in my life and it was well received. It also seemed like the perfect 40th blog post, so I decided to make it a tradition of sorts.

I won’t lie, being 23 sucked. When I was 22 I was newly entering the world as an actor and learning things about myself. It was an exciting time. But this year floored me. Not everything was bad, not by far. I signed with Viclectic Artist Management, one of the leading acting agencies in South Africa. Since then I’ve been auditioning and finding my feet in the industry. It’s a journey in progress.

Many other good things happened, but when things went bad this year they really went to shit. Halfway through the year I went through my massive friendship breakup which unearthed the greater part of my friendship circle. In a way I had to start over, and I did. But it wasn’t easy. I was struck with a lot of death and tragedy this year and I’ve been having a difficult time dealing with it.

When it came to relationships it wasn’t much different. I lost my faith in romance. I’ve pretty much given up on it. But it was also kind of liberating to realize that I’m okay on my own. I’ve let go of a lot of people who I don’t need in my life anymore. I’ve cut off a lot of dead branches.

So, I’m leaving this year as a much different person. 22 was the age of new experiences and learning. 23 was the age of grieving and letting go, much of which I will still continue to do. I would hope that 24 will be the age of new beginnings. I want to leave the past behind and start a new era in my life. I’m not sure of what it holds, but I’m ready.

I’m ready.

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10 thoughts on “Goodbye 23: What I’ve Learned

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  8. I love what you’ve learned! I have come to learn most of the things at the age of 22.

    Starting over seems good. But can one really start over? Like a clean slate. I sometimes wonder about those who have started over, have they actually really done it?

    But overall, this post is great! It’s a strange yet good thing to learn all these things in life!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Pingback: Goodbye 24: What I’ve Learned | Life and Other Catastrophes

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